Its Friday! I Think I Have a Routine That Works!

My last day of the first week has started.

This week, it rained so the traffic was as crazy as everyone said! But, I got my routine back today so my workday started @ 8:30 a.m.. I need to be on the road by 7:30 a.m. in order to have a commute with no traffic backups. How cool was it, that my boss saw me as I walked in b4 just about everyone! I know the people @ CNSI will not believe it!

Plus, this morning I was able to do 15 minutes of TaeBo! Go Billy! I feel like my stomach has decreased by an inch already!

Unfortunately, Amari is not handling the adjustment very well. Each morning, except for Monday, we have had tears, spankings, pleading, bribery and the list goes on in order to get him up, dressed, teeth brushed, hair brushed and his breakfast! Ay yay yay! I feel like a lieutenant in the Army. But, last night I realized that he needs to get up @ 6:45 am so we can be out the door by 7:20 am. I hope this will get easier as he gets used to it! But, I am sure we are looking forward to a lie-in tomorrow!

 

 

Tags: Commute. daily routine,

First Day at the New Job, The Night Before

This will be a series of entries of course.

First, my hair sucks! I went to the Hair Cuttery and she washed it, dried it and proceeded to curl it with something called "Curl Slick" or Curl Smooth" so now my hair feels wet! Great, wet dry hair! I've gotta start taking care of  my own hair.

And for my commutte that has quadrupled in length, my car is will not go into 4-wheel drive ( thanks, son) so every time I turn it stutters and makes a screaming noise. And forget speed. And forget my goals to pay off all these small but important debts! J my car guy says its going to cost me....$3565 to get it repaired.

Hopefully, my first day on the job outfit will take attention away from the hair.

 

Tags: Hair Cuttery, new job, car repairs, bad hair

Single moms do take ownership, reponse to AH

Trust me on this! Single moms do take ownership. I take full responsibilty for my choices. I, however, based my decision to keep the baby on four things. First, I thought the man loved me and more importantly, we were friends. So even if we were not going to be together as a couple then we would be able to coexist as parents.  Second, his family came first. He is the go-to guy in his family. Third, I wasn't supposed to have children based on my medical condition so I accepted that miracle. Lastly, and the most important, I am mature enough and I am a provider. In the time that Amari's been born, I have a "what if" savings, increased my 401K holdings, I've bought a house, a car, and landed two new jobs. If I can end 2007 with no debt, then I my 2007 financial goals are almost complete.

One thing, I think men need to understand is that with every action or inaction there's a consequence. I'll say it again, with every action or inaction there's a consequence. Its a concept that they truly lack. That's why I call this mentality, "true ignorance". And its hard to put into words, but I feel that men can't/won't/haven't learned that they are responsible for everything they do. If you don't wear a condom, then the girl could get pregnant. If you cheat on your wife, she could find out! To the simplest, if you don't take out the garbage, you could get bugs.

If he really didn't want to have a baby with me, then he should have covered it up. He thought enough about it to think, "I didn't think you could pregnant."

Now, he needs to man up, financially ( so I can save for Amari's college) and emotionally (create a relationship with Amari).

I'm not trashing his name. Well that's not entirely true, but me calling him out is recent. My frustration with him is peaking and we have the same conversation over and over so I blog to release this anger.

However, his behavior is what it is. His name is not mentioned and only people who know the whole situation know who the true identity of Amari's father. If he changes his ways then the "trashing" will stop. To me, its an accurate portrayal of a father who's not ready to step up to his responsibilities.

Tags: Single moms, responsibility, consequences

Cuteness, Sweetness

Amari woke up as I was posting entries, looked me dead in the eyes and with a lot of sincerity said, " I need you."  How sweet is that?

Tags: Sweet, children, touching moments

Give credit when credit is due, no matter how small

I have become very cynical! I can tell by the title of this entry! I would like to thank Amari's father for coming to help me today. I needed to get to work since I didn't anticipate Amari's illness and didn't bring the work home that I needed so that I can leave Friday with a clear conscious!

Anyway, after I guilt text him. The words deadbeat and a-- were used. He managed ( notice the cynicism) to come to my house and help me out!

I don't want to appear too grateful since proactiveness and active parenting  is what I'm striving for but  I should give credit where credit is due!

Oh yeah, he sent me some $$$ this week too!

 

Tags: Father stepped up today

Adding to my village 2

Well, this afternoon after talking to my friend, Uncle M----, he has volunteered to be father figure to Amari. I've seen him interact with Amari and this makes me happy! And before tongues start wagging, both he and his wife have been my friends for years! More importantly, I've seen how well they take care of their nephew and the values they try to instill in him. Education, being a man, and a decent human being!

So although, they have been part of Amari's life since he was born I am glad that UM has stepped up to make himself a role model for my son (Check the photo! JD don't get mad!)

First visitors for Amari after family!

 

Amari's Third Birthday!

Tags: Father figure, friendship

Adding to my village

This was one crazy week and I still have two more days to go!

First, Amari is sick. Cold, fevers, upchuck and this unbelievable cough! We've been to the doctors twice this week and I may have to go tomorrow since tonight he started complaining about an earache. To top this off, it is now being determined that OTC are not good for our children since there is a danger of overdose, heart murmurs, etc. So while I did break down and give him NightTime Pediacare it wasn't without trepidation. And last night, that didn't help!

Here are a couple of links to articles about OTC and recalled drugs:

FDA Targets Cough Medicine, http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2007/08/cough_medicine.html

Drug Companies Recall Drugs, http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2007/10/infant_cold.html

So for my last week at work its been real crazy. People are thinking I'm taking time off when I'm dealing with a sick child. Luckily, my boss has a child the same age as Amari so she's been real understanding. Especially since she went through this with her child last year!

 

Will my new boss be just as understanding???? I can only hope or else its a quick in and out there. But, even I don't expect too much until I've won him over with my work, my work ethic and of course, my charming personality. I give myself the normal 90 ninety days and I should be in like Flynn! This is what has led me to my new village!

 

By the glory of GOD, Amari got sick this week and not next! I am blessed again since he brought my neighbor to my door requesting a favor and we go to talking and they volunteered to help me with Amari. It was perfect. So next week, in place of running home, stressed out to get to the day care, I can work a full day and relax a bit driving from Vienna. She is going to take care of Amari from 5-7 in the evenings, give him some food, and watch him until I get home! Its perfect!My village has expanded at just the right time!

 

Tags: Recalled Drugs,

Tags: New Jobs, Stay at Home Moms

Maggie's Gone

Well, this is the third day of the first week without Maggie. As many of you know, I've decided that it was time for me to put Amari in full time day care. It was a financial decision mostly, I will save about $400 a month, but also because I wanted Amari to have more activities designed for his development. Day care type of stuff, drawing pictures, macaroni arts and crafts, and playing with his peers.

And potty training! Potty training is our next hurdle. But, thanks to Aunt T and her gummy bears suggestions he is finally willing to go potty. We're still not where he recognizes he has to go but we are going in the right direction.

Next, my goal is to put him in Montessori school since I'm convinced that education program is the best system. Its feels like its very student-centric with a focus on the individual opposed to the school systems grading system. Right now, I have a friend(another mom without a father in the home) who's son may be suffering from an impatient teacher who doesn't have time to teach because she has a curriculum she has to follow.

Anyway, other than today where he woke up crying and did not stop until he had his breakfast, we are doing fine. I think he was hungry. He's had his food prepared by loving hands for three years of his life ( Mercedes and Maggie) and now he's eating boring fish sticks and crackers on a more regimented routine.

I need about $20K more in my life so I can get a daily housekeeper and a cook for us. He'd still go to day care but not for a full day. I still don't think its right to keep a child in day care longer than I have to work but that's one of the issues in my situation. And since I never planned to be stay at home mom, he might still have to go to day care full time, if my husband and I were to work. We'll see how it goes in the next few years....

Well, at least I know my challenge for next week. Healthy, fun and tasty meals! Oh my!

Tags: Day care, education system, healthy meals, working moms