From one of my sisters in the Single Mom, in this case Dad, Sisterhood!
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I printed off your journal entries and I’m going 2 read them later, BUT I did read the very first one about the fact that u r going 2 keep on trying 2 get amari’s dad 2 be a dad – DON’T ( I don’t know if u stopped or not). C, his father and I were together 4 5 years b4 I got pregnant, this was not planned at all – I found out when I was 3 months pregnant because I had broke my ankle. Long story short we stayed together 4 6 months after he was born, he put his hands on me, my brother handled that situation. He saw C. every blue moon,. My parents MADE me file 4 child support when I had him and I didn’t want 2 because we were together glad I did.
Anyhoo, he stopped seeing him except 4 b-days and xmas, well I gave him the opportunity 2 pay child support or see his son (it was not about the money), he choose child support. I never ever talked bad about him 2 our child, most importantly I never forced him or kept trying 2 get him 2 spend time w/his child because I knew that it would cause resentment toward our child, etc. when chaz was old enough I told him about the fight and I also told him that when he was old enough that it would be HIS CHOICE if he wanted his father in his life or not and whatever decision he made it was his. He chooses not 2 have his father in his life, and that is his father’s loss.
His father had a daughter and I could not understand how his daughters mother would have a kid by someone that she lived w/and new how he treated his 1st born, she and I are very very good friends and we have made sure that my son and his sister have spent time together. But she MAKES him see there daughter, he does not pay child support, he used 2 have 2 pick her up from school every day and keep her every other weekend – he resents it!
Please 4 your child’s sake don’t try 2 force his father 2 spend time with him, all u can do is tell amari about his dad and never speak bad about him and let AMARI make that decision.
I raised my son by myself, I took him to boy scouts (I was the only mom camping), karate, taught him how 2 play basketball, football, baseball, took him 2 the all of his games, helped him w/his homework, took care of him in the middle of the night, took off from work, went 2 bat 4 him when needed, etc. I’m the 1 that he has always come 2 w/female problems, etc. not his father (noticed I said father). I;m the one that let him make that decision! I raised him the best way that I know how – my son was an honor role students, has received several academic awards, has had 2 poems published in magazines and all of that was done because I did not let the fact that his father was not active in his life hamper him from doing anything he wanted 2. I sacrificed – that is a decision that u made (2 sacrifice) when u had amari knowing that he did not want a child. Make the best of it and be glad that he is here, he is defeintely here 4 a reason and things r the way they r 4 a reason whether u know what it is or not.
My son used 2 celebrate father’s day w/me. Like I said I don’t know if u stopped trying 2 get him 2 be active or not but if u have not then please stop, because 1 u r doing nothing but hurting yourself and u might end up making that relationship w/amari and his dad bad in the long run, and u probably got him thinking that it is about u and not your son.
Neither one of us r the first 2 not have their babies daddy in their lives. Believe me it is not worth the agony!
